Tired

I love living here with my in-laws, I really do. Being able to hang out with the kids all the time and cook, shop, etc with Vicky is so much fun and I love it. I mean, I love being able to run up a couple flights of stairs, plop on Vicky's bed and just talk to her about anything. And I mean, ANYTHING. But I really miss having my own home and our big screen and being able to take a shower whenever I want without worrying about who might walk in at any given moment, lol. That's always fun. I want to be able to walk around naked whenever I want. I also want to be able to have wild sex in the kitchen, with my husband, in the middle of the day on a Sunday. I know no one wants to know that, but this is my blog and I don't care. Anyway, I don't think we'll be moving out before Christmas. But that's cool, because then we can have it here with Jared's family this year. That will be a lot of fun.
I also want to stop making things more difficult for Vicky. No matter what she says, I know it's hard having another whole family living with you and trying to figure out how to not step on each other's toes. I don't even have words to describe how happy, and grateful, I am that she let us come here without any notice whatsoever. She is truly an amazing woman and I admire her so much. I try to do what I can to make things easier for her, but I always seem to fall short.
I'm just so tired. One minute I will be super focused and in the middle of a project, and the next I'll be...tired and unmotivated. One minute I'm awake and hyper and no one can keep up with me, the next I'm uninterested and can hardly hold my head up. I can hardly focus on half of what people are saying, I have a hard time finishing my thoughts, let alone sentences. The only thing I can remember to do is bathe, dress, change and feed Harley. Make sure he's ok and taken care of. Nothing else seems to matter. It's really frustrating. I can keep my focus most of the time when Jared's talking to me, but most people can't hold my attention. I don't know what to do. Nothing gets done and I don't have patience to do it in the first place. I just need a sign of what I'm supposed to do and what direction I'm supposed to go in.

Sister's Birthday

Last night, well all day really, was my sister's 29th birthday. lol. She's 9 years older than me...na na na na na na! I made Chicken Enchiladas and Coffee Cake and went over to her house to eat, drink and be merry. After dinner, we disappeared the young ones and watched The Boondock Saints. Oh. My. Gosh. It was an amazing movie! I want it so bad! If I can find it somewhere I'm going to buy it and watch it forever. lol. It really was an awesome movie. But I was glad we got to spend time with my sister on her birthday. It was a lot of fun.
The night before, Halloween, was awesome, too. We had a party here, went trick-or-treating, hung out and then went to Katie and Dave's to watch movies and do...other things. :D We watched 88 Minutes with Al Pacino...great movie! I didn't see the ending coming. I guessed at what it might be but was totally wrong! It was fun. I like having my sister close by. It's a lot of fun. I love getting to play with my nieces and nephew and seeing my son and my nephew together. Last night they had a moment when they locked eyes and were talking to each other. I know they understood each other completely. It was really amazing.
The Christmas Expo is in a couple weeks up in Sandy. I want to go all 3 days, but I don't think we'll be able to. Jared works on Friday so we may only be able to go Saturday and Sunday. It's ok, though because Sunday is so much less crowded than Saturday. But I would rather do both.
We're finally getting family pictures done at the end of this month. I'm excited. I'll be able to send out pictures to all my family. I can't wait! Ok, I'm going to try and borrow Boondock Saints from my sister.

Halloween Night

So, Vicky and I spent all of Halloween day running around and getting things ready and we still didn't get everything done that we wanted to. But, whatever.
We dressed Harley as a pumpkin and he was so adorable! He fell asleep while we were waiting to go trick-or-treating. It was cute. We didn't get any pictures of him, Jared and me, but we did get pictures of each of us almost individually. lol. Katie and her family came over for the Halloween party. Katie was a flapper, Dave and Ciara were gangsters, Brooke was a gothic fairy and Davidson was a lion. I don't think we even got any pictures of Harley and Davidson in their costumes. Oh well. It has been an extremely long night. And we're about to leave this madhouse and go to Katie and Dave's to watch movies and hang out and such.
I quoted the movie, Bobby, today, "Somewhere, between our stuff and our things, is us." It is so appropriate right now. We have had to box up a lot of "our stuff and our things" and have learned that we don't really need all the things we have. We don't really need all the things we want. We just need our little family and a roof over our heads. The rest doesn't really matter.

Halloween, ugh!

I am trying to find some spiral curlers. I want my hair in super spiraly curls for Halloween. I can't use a curling iron because my hair is super rebellious and basically says, "Ha! I dare you to use a curling iron and hair spray!" lol, and the only time it has ever worked was for my last prom, I went to Dallas Roberts and got it curled and she used the kind of heavy duty hair spray that you see in the movei Hairspray. And man, did she use a ton of it. But it worked and it looked fabulous! But, alas, I do not feeleth like do it...ith. lol. Ok, if anyone reads this and has any suggestions, let me know!

seriously

Today I really am controlling my insanity...but I don't know how much longer I can do that before the inevitable break down.

TGIF

So, I am so completely ecstatic that it is Friday! I finally have time to clean my room and get it organized. It is so hard babysitting my 3 1/2 month old nephew and my 11 year old niece along with my own son. It is even harder to do all that and then come home and try to do the housewifish stuff I need to do. Ugh! Just...ugh!
Not to mention the fact that between my husband and myself, we own so much apparel that we can fill a HUGE, and I mean HUGE, 6 drawer dresser, another pretty good-sized 5 drawer dresser and almost a whole walk-in-closet. Pretty sick, huh? We have to go through and DI a bunch of stuff and it really kills me to do it. I finally gave my niece a shirt she has been begging me to give her for about 4 years now. I have finally stopped being in denial about the fact that it is never going to fit me again. She was ECSTATIC, like bouncing off the walls. Well, she's little, so more like pinging off the walls. ;) She's cute, I love her. On top of our sickening mountain of clothing...is our son's. Yes, our 5 1/2 month old has a revolting amount of clothing. His little dresser is full and he still has about 2 medium laundry baskets full. Sick, eh? Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous. I have to go through his stuff, too, and find out what fits him and what doesn't and box up the what doesn't for future, yes FUTURE, children. NOT now children, but FUTURE children. Ok? Get it? Got it? Good!
Anyway, so all of the kids are gone. Lydia is at Jayden's house, the twins and Ian are at the sand dunes and Conor is in Vegas. So...that means Vicky, Jared and I (and of course, Harley) went out! Yeah! We went and ordered 2 appetizers and salad and our dinners and of course the bread that comes with every meal at pretty much every restaurant these days. Woah, are we full! I feel like a pig, though, because Jared and Vicky feel ultra over-full and I feel fine. I guess my stomach is just used to eating giant-sized meals...sad :( But it was really good. I told Vicky afterwards that I didn't know whether I should feel proud or ashamed that I polished off my whole meal on top of the salad and appetizers. Not to mention...3 Diet Cokes...wow, I am a pig! Oh, well. It makes up for the past 3 weeks of forgetting to eat lunch while babysitting at my sister's. Sometimes I forget just lunch, sometimes lunch and breakfast, sometimes I don't realize I haven't eaten all day until 11:30 at night. I just have so much going through my brain all the time that I forget about the fact that my stomach is growling. And the last thing I need is to put a reminder in my phone to eat! Man, that would be the winner in the "Most Pathetic Person" category.
So, I hate family tensions and fights. The last month has been hell. It's been really nice to be at Vicky's, though. As much as the kids can sometimes annoy me, they don't really. It's only the "mom, he's touching me!" stuff that we ALL did as a kid that gets on my nerves and then I try to remember that I was way more obnoxious as a kid. Moi? Yeah, me. lol. I found a picture today with some of my family members in it one Christmas when I was about 5 or so. It had my family, my Auntie's family, my mom's mom and step-dad and her dad and step-mom all in it together for Christmas. I just looked at it and longed for the days when we were a real family. My heart just aches thinking about how this Thanksgiving and Christmas will be, my heart feels like a piece is missing and I just can't stop the tears. For those of you who don't understand, I'm sorry but it's private. For those of you who do, no worries, I'll be fine.

Great blog, yeah? It has everything! You laugh, you get shocked, you think, you cry! It's amazing!

Grr...

I'm irritated and I do NOT want to talk about it other than to say I'm irritated.